PLAYFUL PARENTING

 Play can be the  long-sought bridge back to that deep emotional bond between parent and child. It can also ease the stress of parenting. Playful parenting is a way to enter a child's world, on the child's terms, in order to foster closeness, confidence and collection.We all know that children love playing, it's their work. That is their own way of learning skills, getting along with others and expressing emotions. Kids are more physical than adults. When they get wound up emotionally, their body needs to discharge all that energy. That's one of the reasons they have so much more energy than we the adults do, so they wear us out. We can use this at our own advantage because when we play physical games with them, they get tired and exhausted having no strength for tantrums to discharge. Though tiring, it helps one ease stress. So when your child asks to play, make a deal. It won't take much time but it will help on the long run to get along with that child. Whatever game you choose to play with your child, once they get used to it be rest assured they will keep coming for more.

HOW TO BUILD GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD.

 To be a great parent, to raise a happy, healthy and well behaved kid, you have to create a closer connection with your child. Telling your children you love them is not enough. We need to put our love into action everyday for them to feel it. This can be done by making the connection with our children our priorities, seeing things from our children's point of view and always remember that these children who sometimes drives us crazy is still the precious baby we welcomed into our arms with such hope. You can bear me witness that attending to a child energizes us and makes us feel more alive. So many people always have the regrets of not getting closer to people in their lives.

Your relationship with your child needs positive attention to work. Attention = love. What you attend to flourishes. That kind of attentiveness might take time but you can multitask and create a quality time with your child.

How can this be achieved? 

• Try connecting with the child from the beginning. 
• All relationships take work. You don't stop trying. 
• Prioritize time with your child. 
• Start your relationship with trust. Don't walk away from relating with the child even if you are frustrated. 
• Encourage , encourage, encourage. 
• Respect must be mutual.
• Think of relationships as a gradual increase of daily interactions. 
• Try communicating with your child. 
• Don't take it personally when he/she annoys you.
• Don't let little rifts build up.
• Re-connect after every separation.
• If you must discipline, do that with love.
• Be available. 

May all our efforts to train our children in the right way be crowned with success. Amen.

STAYING CONNECTED WITH YOUR CHILD.

  Life with it's infinite distraction and constant separations , has a way of eroding connections. All parents need to repeatedly reconnect with their children, just to repair the daily erosion created by life's normal seperation and distractions. While our children are separated from us, they hold unto other things around them : their teacher, their peers, their computer, phones etc. Effective parenting is almost impossible until the positive connection with our child has been re-established. How can we achieve this?

📌 Place a premium on relationships in your family. 

📌 Acknowledge relationships and separations.

📌 When you physically reconnect, consciously refocus your attention. 

📌 Keep distractions to a minimum. 

📌 Attune to your child's mood.

📌 Connect on their level.

📌 Everyone needs you and me time.

📌 Do repair work as necessary if you are not reconnecting with your child. 

CONNECTING PARENTING.

 This is prioritizing your relationship with your child because that's the foundation for emotional well-begin. This aspect of parenting is based on love instead of fear. Most of us grew up with authoritarian parenting which is based on child's fear of losing the parent's love and permissive parenting based on parent's fear of losing the child's love.

To build a strong connection with your child, it starts early with responding with the infant's need. Try to create bonding with the child so that you can develop a secured attachment with them. Attachment parenting is the attention which we parents give to our children which in turn gives them a secured attachment. Connecting parenting helps parents create a close lifetime connection with their kids. It is the relationship you have with your child that makes you a better parent not a set of skills. You're a fine parent the way you are if you are in touch with your natural parenting instincts. Still so many parents find so much challenge in parenting. No amount of" parenting skills " can make up for a close parent-child relationship. A close bond not only want to make our kids want to please us, it gives us access to our natural parent know-how.

Every parent has a relationship with his or her child. The question is: what kind of relationship? Good or Bad? Prioritizing the connection with our kids means that we must put them first. We need to give them full attention by making every moment you stay with them worthwhile. Does this need to be the mother alone?  Parenting should be for both the Dad and Mum because each of them have different ways of relating with the child.

A good parent-child relationship gets you through the had times and create more frequent good times. It helps you to listen, learn from and meet the unique needs of your grown child. You can inflence your child positively, your child gets something even deeper like loving himself and others, have self confidence, integrity and self discipline. Connecting parenting keeps your family connected even as the pressure of daily life impinge on your time. 

NURTURING INTIMACY WITH YOUR CHILD.

 Intimacy is the glue that strengthens family bonds. Its what connects us over the years and across the miles. It's what gets us through the hard times. It's the grease that smooths the rough interactions of everyday life and the honey that makes it all worth it. In happy relationships between parents and children, bids are made and responded to warmly. It doesn't matter what the bid is all about, the process or reaching out and receiving response builds the relationship. This will in turn increase the level of trust so as to reach to the child again and the content of the bid deepens. The following are the secrets for the closer bond with our children. 

📍 Whenever possible, respond to the need of your child.

📍 Train yourself to respond with empathy, no matter what the comment is.

📍 Do not start with correction, always connect before you correct or connect.

📍 Try not to respond with anger when you fell you are being hurt by your child, instead acknowledge your vulnerability and hurt.

📍 Create a you and me time.

TYPES OF CHILDREN : PART 4

The serious child: 

They are logical, independent and focused. They act more matured than their age. They are not playful like other children. They can be rigid and inflexible when it comes to doing things. They are natural perfectionists. They are very good at criticism when proving a point. They like to arrange items in a specific row. Their slogan" let's see what this is, let's analyze it and i know a way to make it better". 

The best way to connect with a serious child is: 

* Understand what they are thinking rather than feeling.

* They like to be respected. Let them know you respect their thoughts and opinions. 

* Communicate to them in the way they will understand. 

* Ask for their opinions and solutions. 

TYPES OF CHILDREN : PART 3

The determined child

They are the most noticeable. They are naturally more physical, active and stubborn. They are born with a drive to get things done in their own specific ways. They are usually told to calm down or stop being so demanding. They always want to try leadership positions in school, home or work. They can be loud, forceful or straight to the point ( also seen as bluntly honest). Their slogan "let's get results ".

The best way to connect with a determined child :

* Don't struggle to reign them in, try giving them a bit more freedom to discover themselves.

* Cheer them on in their goals.

* Encourage their confidence and passion. 

* Don't question but try to offer help. 

TYPES OF CHILDREN : PART 2

The determined child

They are the most noticeable. They are naturally more physical, active and stubborn. They are born with a drive to get things done in their own specific ways. They are usually told to calm down or stop being so demanding. They always want to try leadership positions in school, home or work. They can be loud, forceful or straight to the point ( also seen as bluntly honest). Their slogan "let's get results ".

The best way to connect with a determined child :

* Don't struggle to reign them in, try giving them a bit more freedom to discover themselves.

* Cheer them on in their goals.

* Encourage their confidence and passion. 

* Don't question but try to offer help. 

TYPES OF CHILDREN: PART 1

The fun-loving children 

 They are bubbly, bright and social. They are full of ideas and are playful. Their energy can be seen as a fault when they don't want to sit still or when the interrupt to share their ideas. They are very curious and love to touch and explore. They love to make noise, laugh and play. They are creative / imaginative and are eager to please others. We parents can connect to them in the following ways :

* Praise their good ideas and encourage them. 

* Have fun with them (get down on their level if needs be)

* Give them freedom to explore and text out their creativity and idea. Chinyere. 

AREAS OF CHILD PSYCHOLOGY : PART 4

Socialization 

This involves acquiring the values, knowledge and skills that enables children to relate effectively and to contribute in positive ways to family, school and the community. This process starts shortly after birth and continues to adulthood. The crucial period for socialization is the age of early childhood. 

Socialization are in two phases: Firstly, relationship between parents and primary care giver. 

Secondly, between peer groups and fellow boys and girls. Once a child's social status is affected negatively, there will be difficulty in creating and maintaining satisfying relationships with others- a limitation many carry into adulthood. That child can change by engaging in socially constructive actions  (helping, caring and sharing with others) and developing a healthy sense of self. Chinyere

AREAS OF CHILD PSYCHOLOGY : PART 3

 Behaviour 

All children can be naughty, defiant and impulsive from time to time. Conflicts between parents and children are also inevitable as the latter struggle, from the “terrible twos” through adolescence, to assert their independence and develop their own identities. These behaviours are a normal part of the growing-up process. However, some children have extremely difficult and challenging behaviours that are outside the norm for their age. In fact, behavioural disorders are the most common reason that parents seek the help of child psychologists.

In some cases, these behavioural issues are temporary problems due largely to stressful situations, such as the birth of a siblings, divorce, or a death in the family. Other cases involve a pattern of sustained hostile, aggressive, or disruptive behaviours that are not appropriate for the child’s age. The most typical disruptive behaviour disorders include oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), conduct disorder (CD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). These three behavioural disorders share some common symptoms, and can be further exacerbated by emotional problems and mood disorders. Child psychology involves looking at all possible roots to these behavioural issues, including brain disorders, genetics, diet, family dynamics and stress, and then treating them accordingly. Chinyere. 

AREAS OF CHILD PSYCHOLOGY :PART 2

Milestones:This is used to measure a child's progress in life. They act as checkpoints in the child's development, to know what the average child is able to do at a particular age. For instance: at 12 months, a child should be able to stand and support his or her weight, and some can even walk. If a child is 18 months of age and still can't walk, then there has to be a problem.We have : 

a) Physical milestone - Physical development. 

b) Cognitive or mental milestone : Reasoning, learning and solving problems.

c) Social and emotional milestone: expressing emotions and response to social interaction. 

d) Communication and language milestones : Verbal and non-verbal communication.

AREAS OF CHILD PSYCHOLOGY : PART 1

Development : This aspect is divided into 3.

1) Physical development : Physical body changes that occurs in a child. Gradual transformation from a baby to a child, adolescent and then adult.

2) Cognitive  (intellectual ) development : The process children use to gain knowledge which includes : language, thought, reasoning and imagination. 

3) Social-emotional : Social development here means how a child relates with people while the emotional development involves feelings and the expression of feelings. It includes trust, fear, confidence, pride, friendship and humour. The three categories above work hand in hand in the development of a child. 

Methods of child training Part 4

 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child,but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Proverbs 22 :15 This method is the disciplinary method which includes flogging,scolding,punishment etc.A parent should know the particular one to use for a child when necessary or if necessary. Most parents misuse this method in the name of correction.  Not everything a child does attracts punishment. 

 Children have their differences,some might be scared of cane,some don't like to be scolded while some cannot endure punishment. Make your choice based on the disciplinary method they don't like. Remember,  spare the rod and spoil the child. Chinyere.

Methods of child training: Part 3

 Have you ever gone out to buy groceries and you came back without buying anything for a child? How does that child feel? You can imagine the look on the child's face.

 If this method is used (not giving the child gift item)when he/she disobeys,you can imagine what will happen. The child will feel so bad on one hand but on the other hand will not repeat the bad behaviour. You are not trying to deprive the child of his/her right,but making the child see that bad behaviour does not pay. Bad behaviour will not attract reward. Chinyere.

POSITIVE PARENTING : PARENT -CHILD RELATIONSHIP.

When it comes to family life, everyone strives to figure out how the relationship between parents and children can become ideal. Positive parenting techniques work well for raising children with discipline and good moral values, and are every parents’ dream. However, it is not an easy feat. And it is important to know that the parent child relationship is a two-way street, in other words, it is actually a partnership between a parent and their child.

A garden with different flowers becomes beautiful when it blossoms. Similarly, if parents learn how to be a ‘gardener’ and are able to recognize their child’s personality and nourish it, then their ‘garden’ will become fragrant! This is what positive parenting is all about!

When parents develop effective parenting skills, they are able to take the initiative in filling the generation gap. When parents start to understand the balance of where to place boundaries, where to encourage, and where to discourage, then their children will not get spoiled. In this way they become good parents. When people do not know how to be a good parent, distance between the two develops.

Every young adult has the potential power to help the entire world. He just needs the right guidance and support.

With proper understanding, youth can also strengthen their relationship with their parents.

Methods of child training Part 2

  Most children hate the words"I won't play with you again, You won't be my friend again". This method can go a long way for those in ages 3-5 years. When the child does something bad, you use these words. 

  I have a 3 years old boy and whenever he does something bad , I use the words on him. The next minute he apologizes "Mummy I won't do it again. Are you my friend?"You all know what the reply will be.Every child wants to be Daddy or Mummy's friend. The child knows if i do something bad , Daddy and Mummy will not be my friend.This method serves like a check mate. Win that child at a tender age.  Chinyere.

Methods of child training part 1

In child training,there are different methods we use.The method working for me might not be the one working for you. You need to know the one that works perfectly well and use it.

 In parenting, we need to be firm on our decisions. For instance, you give your child an instruction not to go out to play.He/she keeps begging for your permission, you letting him/her go means you are not firm in your decision.Your child might think you are not being fair to him/her.Next time when you give instructions, your child will learn to obey it because he/she knows you will say no.Being firm does not mean you are being strict or rigid.Put your feet down when necessary. Chinyere 

Child Training

There is this popular poem titled" My Mother". Who sat and watched my infant head, when sleeping on my cradle bed, and tears of sweet affection shed?  My Mother. Every child needs someone to look up to. Chinyere.

Training a chid

Child Training is not a job left for one person to do. It is a joint effort from positive minds.( People that will affect the child positively). Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he/she is old, he/she will not depart from it. Your life style is enough instrument in child training. Your child's future is in your hand. Chinyere.

Children's day celebration

Children are heritage from the Lord. A gift given to mankind by God. Every child is being celebrated on a day like this every year 27th May. On a day like this ,so many activities are done like match past, fun fares, and lot more. Some children go to stadium, some to amusement park while some stay at home from school which most children like.

Looking at the pandemic world wide,I wonder what today's  children's day will look like. Parent's please make today a memorable day for them. There are so many things you can do to celebrate your child. Just think of something and make them happy. You could buy them things or play games with them or even make them match round the compound. HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY. Chinyere