PLAYFUL PARENTING

 Play can be the  long-sought bridge back to that deep emotional bond between parent and child. It can also ease the stress of parenting. Playful parenting is a way to enter a child's world, on the child's terms, in order to foster closeness, confidence and collection.We all know that children love playing, it's their work. That is their own way of learning skills, getting along with others and expressing emotions. Kids are more physical than adults. When they get wound up emotionally, their body needs to discharge all that energy. That's one of the reasons they have so much more energy than we the adults do, so they wear us out. We can use this at our own advantage because when we play physical games with them, they get tired and exhausted having no strength for tantrums to discharge. Though tiring, it helps one ease stress. So when your child asks to play, make a deal. It won't take much time but it will help on the long run to get along with that child. Whatever game you choose to play with your child, once they get used to it be rest assured they will keep coming for more.

HOW TO BUILD GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD.

 To be a great parent, to raise a happy, healthy and well behaved kid, you have to create a closer connection with your child. Telling your children you love them is not enough. We need to put our love into action everyday for them to feel it. This can be done by making the connection with our children our priorities, seeing things from our children's point of view and always remember that these children who sometimes drives us crazy is still the precious baby we welcomed into our arms with such hope. You can bear me witness that attending to a child energizes us and makes us feel more alive. So many people always have the regrets of not getting closer to people in their lives.

Your relationship with your child needs positive attention to work. Attention = love. What you attend to flourishes. That kind of attentiveness might take time but you can multitask and create a quality time with your child.

How can this be achieved? 

• Try connecting with the child from the beginning. 
• All relationships take work. You don't stop trying. 
• Prioritize time with your child. 
• Start your relationship with trust. Don't walk away from relating with the child even if you are frustrated. 
• Encourage , encourage, encourage. 
• Respect must be mutual.
• Think of relationships as a gradual increase of daily interactions. 
• Try communicating with your child. 
• Don't take it personally when he/she annoys you.
• Don't let little rifts build up.
• Re-connect after every separation.
• If you must discipline, do that with love.
• Be available. 

May all our efforts to train our children in the right way be crowned with success. Amen.

STAYING CONNECTED WITH YOUR CHILD.

  Life with it's infinite distraction and constant separations , has a way of eroding connections. All parents need to repeatedly reconnect with their children, just to repair the daily erosion created by life's normal seperation and distractions. While our children are separated from us, they hold unto other things around them : their teacher, their peers, their computer, phones etc. Effective parenting is almost impossible until the positive connection with our child has been re-established. How can we achieve this?

📌 Place a premium on relationships in your family. 

📌 Acknowledge relationships and separations.

📌 When you physically reconnect, consciously refocus your attention. 

📌 Keep distractions to a minimum. 

📌 Attune to your child's mood.

📌 Connect on their level.

📌 Everyone needs you and me time.

📌 Do repair work as necessary if you are not reconnecting with your child. 

CONNECTING PARENTING.

 This is prioritizing your relationship with your child because that's the foundation for emotional well-begin. This aspect of parenting is based on love instead of fear. Most of us grew up with authoritarian parenting which is based on child's fear of losing the parent's love and permissive parenting based on parent's fear of losing the child's love.

To build a strong connection with your child, it starts early with responding with the infant's need. Try to create bonding with the child so that you can develop a secured attachment with them. Attachment parenting is the attention which we parents give to our children which in turn gives them a secured attachment. Connecting parenting helps parents create a close lifetime connection with their kids. It is the relationship you have with your child that makes you a better parent not a set of skills. You're a fine parent the way you are if you are in touch with your natural parenting instincts. Still so many parents find so much challenge in parenting. No amount of" parenting skills " can make up for a close parent-child relationship. A close bond not only want to make our kids want to please us, it gives us access to our natural parent know-how.

Every parent has a relationship with his or her child. The question is: what kind of relationship? Good or Bad? Prioritizing the connection with our kids means that we must put them first. We need to give them full attention by making every moment you stay with them worthwhile. Does this need to be the mother alone?  Parenting should be for both the Dad and Mum because each of them have different ways of relating with the child.

A good parent-child relationship gets you through the had times and create more frequent good times. It helps you to listen, learn from and meet the unique needs of your grown child. You can inflence your child positively, your child gets something even deeper like loving himself and others, have self confidence, integrity and self discipline. Connecting parenting keeps your family connected even as the pressure of daily life impinge on your time. 

NURTURING INTIMACY WITH YOUR CHILD.

 Intimacy is the glue that strengthens family bonds. Its what connects us over the years and across the miles. It's what gets us through the hard times. It's the grease that smooths the rough interactions of everyday life and the honey that makes it all worth it. In happy relationships between parents and children, bids are made and responded to warmly. It doesn't matter what the bid is all about, the process or reaching out and receiving response builds the relationship. This will in turn increase the level of trust so as to reach to the child again and the content of the bid deepens. The following are the secrets for the closer bond with our children. 

📍 Whenever possible, respond to the need of your child.

📍 Train yourself to respond with empathy, no matter what the comment is.

📍 Do not start with correction, always connect before you correct or connect.

📍 Try not to respond with anger when you fell you are being hurt by your child, instead acknowledge your vulnerability and hurt.

📍 Create a you and me time.

TYPES OF CHILDREN : PART 4

The serious child: 

They are logical, independent and focused. They act more matured than their age. They are not playful like other children. They can be rigid and inflexible when it comes to doing things. They are natural perfectionists. They are very good at criticism when proving a point. They like to arrange items in a specific row. Their slogan" let's see what this is, let's analyze it and i know a way to make it better". 

The best way to connect with a serious child is: 

* Understand what they are thinking rather than feeling.

* They like to be respected. Let them know you respect their thoughts and opinions. 

* Communicate to them in the way they will understand. 

* Ask for their opinions and solutions. 

TYPES OF CHILDREN : PART 3

The determined child

They are the most noticeable. They are naturally more physical, active and stubborn. They are born with a drive to get things done in their own specific ways. They are usually told to calm down or stop being so demanding. They always want to try leadership positions in school, home or work. They can be loud, forceful or straight to the point ( also seen as bluntly honest). Their slogan "let's get results ".

The best way to connect with a determined child :

* Don't struggle to reign them in, try giving them a bit more freedom to discover themselves.

* Cheer them on in their goals.

* Encourage their confidence and passion. 

* Don't question but try to offer help.