UNHEALTHY COMPARISON

 No two persons where born the same. Every child has his or her own destiny. Comparison is the theif of JOY. It makes one feel negatively about oneself most of the time.

The words cruise out of your mouths inadvertently. "Look at him/her, she is so much better than you" or "Why can't you be more like him/her?". Why do we compare our children with others? As much as we want to refrain from it, we end up doing it. Is it an inevitable human trait or can we resist the impulse if we try?

Well, "comparison" is counter-productive for anyone. But it is all the more debasing for children. Children are tender beings and they do not take too well to negative criticism. And if the criticism involves telling them how others are better than they are in some way, then it is all the more painful. This does not mean that we shouldn't point out their mistakes and help them improve, but anything beyond this is overkill.

Every child is different. In the present age, where competition has spread its tentacles in every walk of life, it is crucial to teach our kids to be grounded. And comparing them at each step will just not help. They should be taught to better themselves with each day, not to be better than their counterparts.

Reasons you should not compare your children with others:

🔶It will cause self-doubt.

🔶Jealousy will take root.

🔶It will breed negativity. 

🔶It will damage the parent-child relationship. 

🔶They will grow into jittery and nervous adults.

LEAD THEM ARIGHT

 Which way Nigeria 

Which way to go 

I love my father's land 

I want to know 

Let's save Nigeria 

So Nigeria won't die 

Words by Sonny okosun. 

I wonder how today will end, something that started with a peaceful demonstration turns bloody.

#endsars

#endpolicebrutality

Most of us have stories to tell as regards to police brutality. I was taught that democracy is the government of the people, for the people and by the people. This implies that the country's decision is based on the decision of the people. Is this really viable in Nigeria?

 I woke up this morning prepared for work and on reaching my work place, we were told that we won't be working today due to the protest. I heard gunshots, people running Helter Skelter for their dear lives, you know the saying "you only live once" so much chaos. In fact someone got shot you can imagine that, people not having value for Life. How did we get here? I know for sure that one day, we will sing the songs of FREEDOM. I am certain that one day the wicked will give way. Yes even in the scriptures, when Athaliah felt she was untouchable and she did all manner of athrocites and impunity, she never knew that Joash was getting prepared for the throne. The day Joash became the king, it was like a dream. Joash became king at the age of seven and he ruled well. Remember the daughter of a king took care of him and groomed him, not even his parents. 

There are so many Joash's out there today. Every child needs opportunity to be loved, taking care of and nurtured. It is our responsibility as adults to help these children out. You might not have money to train them but your words of encouragement, advice, prayers, care matters a lot to them. Don't say they are not your children, help them in any way you can. Who knows, one of them could be a leader tomorrow. The good vibes you inculcate in them can make them better leaders of tomorrow.

God help us 

God save our children 

God save Nigeria.

#endsars

#endpolicebrutality 

#forabetternigeria

INTERNATIONAL DAY OF THE GIRL CHILD.

 The girl-child: a young female child.

*   G -GENUINE

*   I - INTELLECTUAL

*   R - RESPECTED

*   L - LUCKY

Empowering women and girls and promoting gender equality is crucial to accelerating sustainable development. Ending all forms of discrimination against women and girls is not only a basic human right, but it also has a multiplier effect across all other development areas.

These rights include the right to live free from violence, slavery, and discrimination; to be educated; to own property; to vote; and to earn a fair and equal wage. As the now-famous saying goes, “women's rights are human rights.” That is to say, women are entitled to all of these rights.

Did you know?

Worldwide, nearly 1 in 4 girls aged 15–19 years is neither employed nor in education or training compared to 1 in 10 boys of the same age. By 2021 around 435 million women and girls will be living on less than $1.90 a day — including 47 million pushed into poverty as a result of COVID-19.

1 in 3 women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence. Emerging data shows that since the outbreak of COVID-19, violence against women and girls (VAWG), and particularly domestic violence, has INTENSIFIED. Research has it that thousands of girls and young women have shared their stories of harassment and violence which provided a never-before seen glimpse of what happens to them in their cities and the impact this has on their lives. Like we see so many examples during lock down. This calls for specific actions to allow girls and young women to live without experiencing fear or discrimination on our streets.

At least 60% of countries still discriminate against daughters’ rights to inherit land and non-land assets in either law or practice.

Today’s more than 1.1 billion girls are poised to take on the future. Every day, girls are breaking boundaries and barriers, tackling issues like child marriage, education inequality, violence, climate justice, and inequitable access to healthcare. Girls are proving they are unstoppable. 

WHAT SHOULD I DO DURING A TANTRUM?

Keep your cool when responding to a tantrum. Don't complicate the problem with your own frustration or anger. Remind yourself that your job is helping your child learn to calm down. So you need to be calm too.

Tantrums should be handled differently depending on why your child is upset. Sometimes, you may need to provide comfort. If your child is tired or hungry, it's time for a nap or a snack. Other times, its best to ignore an outburst or distract your child with a new activity.

If a tantrum is happening to get attention from parents, one of the best ways to reduce this behavior is to ignore it. If a tantrum happens after your child is refused something, stay calm and don't give a lot of explanations for why your child can't have what he wants. Move on to another activity with your child.

If a tantrum happens after your child is told to do something she does not want to do, it's best to ignore the tantrum. But be sure that you follow through on having your child complete the task after she is calm.

Kids who are in danger of hurting themselves or others during a tantrum should be taken to a quiet, safe place to calm down. This also applies to tantrums in public places.

If a safety issue is involved and a toddler repeats the forbidden behavior after being told to stop, use a time-out or hold the child firmly for several minutes. Be consistent. Don't give in on safety issues.

Preschoolers and older kids are more likely to use tantrums to get their way if they've learned that this behavior works. For school-age kids, it's appropriate to send them to their rooms to cool off while paying little attention to the behavior.

Rather than setting a specific time limit, tell your child to stay in the room until he or she regains control. This is empowering — kids can affect the outcome by their own actions, and thus gain a sense of control that was lost during the tantrum. But if the time-out is for a tantrum plus negative behavior (such as hitting), set a time limit.

Do not reward your child's tantrum by giving in. This will only prove to your little one that the tantrum was effective.

HOW TO AVOID TANTRUMS

Try to prevent tantrums from happening in the first place, whenever possible. Here are some ideas that may help:

Give plenty of positive attention. Get in the habit of catching your child being good. Reward your little one with praise and attention for positive behavior.

Try to give toddlers some control over little things. Offer minor choices such as "Do you want orange juice or apple juice?" or "Do you want to brush your teeth before or after taking a bath?" This way, you aren't asking "Do you want to brush your teeth now?" — which inevitably will be answered "no."

Keep off-limits objects out of sight and out of reach. This makes struggles less likely. Obviously, this isn't always possible, especially outside of the home where the environment can't be controlled.

Distract your child. Take advantage of your little one's short attention span by offering something else in place of what they can't have. Start a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one. Or simply change the environment. Take your toddler outside or inside or move to a different room.

Help kids learn new skills and succeed. Help kids learn to do things. Praise them to help them feel proud of what they can do. Also, start with something simple before moving on to more challenging tasks.

Consider the request carefully when your child wants something. Is it outrageous? Maybe it isn't. Choose your battles.

Know your child's limits. If you know your toddler is tired, it's not the best time to go grocery shopping or try to squeeze in one more errand.